Angel wisdom

22-23 July 2017


Mother and child

1. Follow the path of least resistance.

2. No backup plan. You don’t need it. Based on fear. But sometimes a backup plan is a good strategy.

3. Don’t need a PLAN B. Plan A is good. Think strategically.

4. Don’t need the best. Good enough is good enough.

5. Perfection is highly overrated. We’re all perfect in our imperfection for anything that the Divine Creator made could be nothing but perfect.

6. You’re perfect just the way you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and if they do, tell them to fuck off. 🙂

7. Follow your heart always. It’ll never steer you wrong. Try to minimize the number of decisions you make based on fear.

8. Always leave ’em on a high note.

Union

9. If you don’t feel good, if you’re in a bad mood, stay in your room until you feel better.

10. When you have to make a decision ask yourself “Am I making this decision based on fear?” If the answer is “Yes,” it is the wrong decision. Decide again.

11. Wait for the magic to happen and believe that it will.

12. You got this thing called “Life.” Don’t waste time worrying about what could happen — it doesn’t change anything. Either it’ll happen or it won’t. Period. Despite free will, some things are etched in stone and cannot be changed despite your wishes.

13. Don’t be afraid — there’s that word again — to ask for help. People like to be asked for their help. It’s a two-sided gift that benefits the helper as much as the help-ee (Is that even a word?).

14. If you don’t like the game, either stop playing or start a new game. It takes at least two to play a game. If one person stops, the game ends.

15. You are the ultimate authority on you. Do not give your power away to anyone.

16. “Life” is a lucid dream. Wake up and smell the coffee.

17. Fear is not real. It’s all in your head.

We

18. Always move forward. Don’t look back. Say what’s in your heart and have no regrets.

19. People like to be right. The secret is that everyone can be right. All points of view are equally valid. The “truth” is relative to where you stand or sit or jump around like a Mexican or any other nationality jumping bean. (Do beans really jump? Oh yeh, now I remember — there’s a worm inside there, right? Note to self: Google this or not. Does it make any difference? No.)

20. If Ignorance = Bliss and Bliss = The Attainment of Childhood Dreams then…Ignorance = The Attainment of Childhood Dreams.

I know too much.

You don’t have to be a know-it-all. People don’t like a know-it-all even if you do know it all. Open ears, close mouth.

21. Give someone else a chance to shine. If you know the answer, you don’t always have to raise your hand or shout it out. Let someone else do that. Everyone gets there in their own special way and it’s all good and it’s all Divine Perfection.

22. Knowing too much can be injurious to your health.

23. Leave ‘em laughing.

24. Don’t spoil the ending. People like plot twists and a surprise ending.

25. People are suckers for a tear-jerker. Don’t know why. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Too little, too late. No — not too little, just too late.

26. Her timing always sucked although she was a phenomenal interpretive dancer — just ask the folks at LoW-HI RV Ranch, David and Laura’s wedding reception, or the 30-somethings at the Toad that night with Jerry.  She could really feel the music and move her body to the rhythm.

She often spoke without thinking which she thought was charming and sincere but others found obnoxious and overbearing,

Black-white magic

27. Sometimes it’s harder to receive love than to give it. My good friend Alfredo tells me that the secret is letting go of control: “When you let go of having to control everything,” he says, “that’s when you’re in control” which seems like a contradiction to me and an illogical loop but you get the point. It’s when you give up control that the magic can happen.

28. MAGIC IS REAL.

29. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND THE MYSTERIOUS.

30. Cynicism is an amusing yet unattractive quality. Open your mind to ALL possibilities because ALL possibilities are possible.

31. LOVE NEVER DIES. NEITHER DO YOU DEAR FRIEND. NEITHER DO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVE AND LOVE IS YOU. END OF STORY or is it just the beginning?

32. People are afraid of death for several reasons. First, they’re afraid it’s going to hurt. Don’t worry — it doesn’t. You just float up and out of your body, leaving the pain behind.

Second, they’re afraid of leaving their loved ones behind and causing them pain.

Third, they’re afraid of dying alone. You’re never alone even when you think you’re alone. Angels are always at your shoulder. They’ve got your back and are at your sides — left, right, and center. Ten hut!

People like to know what’s going to happen. It’s odd — we like surprises — surprises are fun except when it comes to our death. There we want to know and why? So that we can prepare ourselves and choose how we spend our final days. We want to be with those we love those final days, and them us.

We want to die “surrounded by our friends and family.” Such a comforting thought, to die holding the hand of the person who loves us most. Ah, close eyes and exhale on a light, airy cloud of LOVE. A gift to both.

33. Possibilities are Infinite.

34. Step outside the box.

35. Everybody can be right at the same time. (See 19 above.)

Going home

36. Everyone’s opinion is valid and should be listened to. You don’t know it all even though you think you do. You may know more or less than another but no one knows IT ALL (Not even you, Elizabeth Carmel).

37. Before you jump to conclusions, get all the facts. Base your decision on complete data.

38. Open your eyes to the wonder around you. Smile often and openly at strangers. Look in their eyes. Despite the common lore, eye contact is not a challenge unless of course it is aggressive. Soft eye contact with love — soul to soul — tells people that you really see them and people like to be seen.

39. Listen to people. Really listen. People like to be seen and heard as Oprah wisely said. She knows.

40. FOLLOW THE CLUES AND USE DEDUCTIVE REASONING. DO YOUR RESEARCH, DO YOUR RESEARCH, COLLECT THE EMPIRICAL DATA, AND COME TO THE MOST LOGICAL CONCLUSION.

41. Science and Art are equally valued on the Other Side. They complement each other. As long as they’re in balance and respect each other, all is well and the sky is NO LIMIT.

42. Gifts are made to be shared. Not sharing your special gifts is an affront to the Divine Creator (GOD TO ME!).

43. If you make something beautiful, share it with people. People find great joy in beautiful things, hence the attraction of flowers, sunsets and rises, all of Mother Earth. Share the beauty that only you as a Unique Soul can create.

44. Sometimes silence is golden. Sometimes it’s rust. Learn to know the difference. Learn to know when to speak and when to be silent. (It’s not compromising your integrity young lady, it’s just being smart and often minimizes tension and conflict which is always a good thing.)

As above so below

45. Love your brother, sister, dog, cat, plant, rock, et al — ALL CREATION — AS YOURSELF BECAUSE ALL IS ONE.

46. STRIVE TO DO NO HARM TO ANY OTHER CREATURE OF GOD.

47. Use discernment. Your Heart knows best.

48. Karma’s a load of crap. It’s just part of THE GAME. Sadistic chap who created it.

49. ANGELS ARE REAL AND ALL AROUND YOU.

50. IT AIN’T OVER TILL IT’S OVER. Don’t jump ahead.

51. You know your body and mind better than anyone else. Don’t let the “experts” tell you otherwise. When it comes to you, you are the ultimate authority.

52. Denial and sacrifice only serve to boost the ego. Oh, look how strong, how pious, how good I am! Avoid them at all costs. Unless your actions will hurt another, if it feels good, do it.

53. Never forget how to play. Play often and with gusto.

54. Love your neighbor. Love everyone for that matter but especially those who live nearby. This creates a pocket of love and goodwill. The pockets spread and glow green and bright.

Note to Self
Note to Self

55. JUST LOVE. PERIOD. JUST FUCKING LOVE ALREADY MAN. GEEZE, THAT’S THE KEY, RIGHT? ALL THE REST IS WINDOW DRESSING.

Just love. Who you are. What you are. Where you are.

JUST FUCKING LOVE IT ALL, “WARTS” AND ALL. Warts don’t really exist hence the quotation marks. (Thanks, I got that Dad.) 🙂

56. Don’t give your power away to anyone or anything, including NUMEROLOGY (although numbers are cool). PSYCHICS — no one can “read” the future because it hasn’t been written yet. You write your life every second a word, every day a paragraph, every year a chapter — until at the end you have a glorious tale of:

– suspense
– love
– intrigue
– surprises
– plot twists
– comedy
– ups and downs

But angel numbers are real.

ONE STEP IN FRONT OF THE OTHER, A JOURNEY IS MADE.

F – FALSE
E – EVIDENCE
A – APPEARING
R – REAL

57. YOU ARE YOUR WORD. HONOR IT. But don’t judge others if they change their minds. You don’t know what’s going on with them and why should it matter to you if they change their minds.

58. What other people say or do, unless it harms another, is none of your fucking business. Don’t let it bother or concern you because it doesn’t fucking matter. Really, it doesn’t. Trust us, we know. (Yes, we do!)

Despite what we said about know-it-alls, some are more accurately called know-mores or know-closer-to-it-alls or know-half-of-it-alls, or whatever fraction you’d like to use.

** Now the real fun begins. You’re invincible kid and that ain’t no joke. Have fun out there, seriously, we mean it. Have a fucking blast.

59. You don’t have to figure it out all at once. You can figure it out in pieces. Don’t jump ahead. Have the patience to get there step-by-step in a calm, centered, and grounded way.

Stardancer

60. Don’t let your emotions carry you away unless it’s LOVE. LOVE can carry you anyplace it fucking wants to. (You do like to swear, don’t you. Yes, indeed I do. I find it adds dramatic flair!)

61. Life is one big lucid dream.

62. Sometimes what you are looking for was right in front of you and you didn’t realize it until it was gone.

63. I don’t want to be told to be quiet. I found my voice again and I’m not going to squelch it ever again.

64. It’s all about the closure. Everyone wants closure.

65. We’re all just doing our best. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

66. LOVE = LOVE = LOVE

Three as One

The Heart
The Heart

The Heart knows.

The Head begs to differ and not at all respectfully.

The Heart says: Let’s stay. We can be happy here.

The Head says: Let’s keep moving. There’s more around the next corner. There’s gotta be.

The Heart says: Let’s put down roots and call this place “home.”

The Head says: Are you crazy? Commit? Why on Earth would you want to settle here of all places? We’re rolling stones, remember? Just look down. See the wheels? Wheels are made for rolling.

The Heart says: I’m tired of rolling. I just want to stay put for a while. We can still wheel along, just in smaller doses.

The Head
The Head

The Head says: But we can’t afford it, remember?  We’re poor, remember? No cash flow, remember?

But the Heart says: We have more than enough and you know it. And the cash flow will come. We’re building our future, a piece at a time.

But the Head says: I want our future built right now! I want to know how everything will turn out right now! I want! I want!! I want!!!  Wah!!!

And the Heart says: Calm down dear Head.  This is what I want — no — this is what we need.  And you know it.

Head: But what if we fall?
Heart: But what if we fly?
Head: But what if we’re wrong?
Heart: But what if we’re right?

The Head says: I’m afraid.

The Heart says: Come here so I can give you a big hug. Believe in The Love.

The Head says, bowing to the Heart: I believe in The Love. Let’s do this.

The Soul
The Soul

And then the Soul chimes in, throwing a monkey wrench into the mix:

Well, I want to fly, to be free and unencumbered, to come and go at will. No ties, no commitments, no nada. I want to be able to move at a moment’s notice — anytime, day or night. Now you see me, now you don’t. That’s what I want so deal with it.

The Head and Heart look at each other, not at all pleased with Soul’s intrusion. They thought they had this all figured out but now what?

And so a quandary is born.

But not really.

Compromise, my dear Heart, Head, and Soul.

We can do it all and then some.

Going around in spirals

Dearest Reader:

Like a lingering summer cold you just can’t seem to shake, I’m back.  Condolences or congratulations?  Your pick.

You knew I couldn’t be quiet for long.  I have way too much to say (“Know it all”).  Maybe it comes from living alone and spending a lot of time in contemplation.  Or, maybe it’s because I’m a writer and — hey! — writers have to write. Whatever the cause or curse, again your pick, I’m back.  I’ll try not to bore you with my ramblings.

I originally posted the poem, “I’m tired,” (see below) in late June — before Pegasus went quiet — but deleted it because I didn’t want to spread negativity. I am re-posting it now in the interests of completeness and honesty.

While in Mesilla Valley Hospital — a locked psychiatric hospital — from 27 July to 3 August, I drew an addendum to the poem:

Going around in spirals

 


I’m tired

I’m tired.

I’m tired of everything.

I’m tired of grocery shopping at Walmart.

I’m tired of cleaning.

I’m tired of working on my book. It’s too hard and what difference does it make anyway? None.

I’m tired of doing art. It’s lost its play.

I’m tired of driving. The thought of going anywhere exhausts me to tears.

I’m tired of summer in the high desert. Tired of the heat, tired of the wind.

I’m tired of living a life wide open.
I’m tired of infinite possibilities.
I’m tired of not knowing.

I’m really tired of being alone.
Over 50 years of being alone.
I’m tired of planning a future alone. What future exactly?

Five years on the road. I thought I finally found what I was looking for — a home in a place, a home in a purpose, a home in a man. I was wrong. Now it’s back to the beginning and I’m fucking tired of going back to the beginning.

An uncertain future alone.

I’m not tired of drinking wine or margaritas.

Pour me another please.

Counting down the days until.

P.S. – Lest you worry about my mental state Dear Reader, please don’t. As many have said, “This too shall pass.” I just wish that it passes tout de suite.

And still I dream

I have a dream. Not the Martin Luther King, Jr. kind of dream — although I do dream of a time when all people are judged by the contents of their hearts rather than the colors of their skins — but a dream nonetheless.

The Florida Mountains and the Chihuahuan high desert ecoregion were home to the Apache Indians. (Photo: K. Dianne Stephens)
The Florida Mountains and the Chihuahua high desert were home to the Apache Indians. (Photo: K. Dianne Stephens)

In my dream I’m sitting in the shade on a stone patio behind a small off-grid house —perhaps a yurt or geodesic dome. Cool morning breezes fluff my hennaed hair. To the east — the Florida Mountains. Roan, paws and belly damp from a dip in the horse trough, saunters over, eases down.

A man — in my dream he’s a cowboy — comes out of the house carrying two cups of coffee — one tablespoon of flavored cream plus a sprinkle of cinnamon stirred in. Just the way we like it. We sip in silence as the sun pastel-paints the Sleeping Dragon.  Another day in paradise. The man and I smile. Two needles in a haystack we.

Horses greet the day, neighs carried on the wind.  The man has fed and watered them or maybe I have. We’re both early risers. Our favorite time of day. A new beginning every dawn.

Home.

Two coffees later, I retreat from the sun to the coolness within to eat breakfast or perhaps I’m fasting until lunch this day. Then off to my office space to work. Perhaps writing or drawing or answering emails or ordering hay.

Or, maybe this day an impromptu road trip in Pegasus to the man’s friends’ winery in northern New Mexico. The old war horse wants to run. He hates it when I call him “old.”

But who will feed the horses? A neighbor boy who looks up to the man like the father he never had.

Or maybe no road trip this day. Maybe the man will jump on his UTV and ride the property, his dog riding shotgun. Or maybe we’ll ride the property together — his and her horses, his and her dogs — a much-needed break from the computer screen.

Maybe we’ll plan the book tour. He’ll drive Pegasus or…but I don’t want him to be an accessory to my life. And vice versa.

So Roan, Pegasus, and I will hit the road, missing the man every second of every day until we’re all back together again.

Home.

Time passes. Dogs and horses long gone. The man and I slow down. No more road trips. Nothing else to see and why leave paradise?  Why leave home?

The man dies on a Tuesday. I hold his hand, look into his eyes as he takes his last breath, and say, “Over and out.”  I die on a Wednesday.

Our spirits shoot into the Great Void.

“Welcome home!,” They call out to us.  “Job well done! Come join the party!” And into the Void we go.

Home.

BUT.

But.

But the man in question (“Too”), the man who helped inspire my dream has gone. Following his own dream. Perhaps to return, most likely to not.

And still I dream.