He said that whenever he starts to beat himself up for not being good enough at life, he simply writes this word on his hand — STUDENT — and reminds himself to look at that word several times a day, and to meditate upon it.
Whenever he fails himself, or falls short of his ideals, or doesn’t know how to handle a complicated situation, he just looks at that word — STUDENT — and then gently allows for self-forgiveness.
Because we are all just students, after all.
We are always in the process of learning — and it’s not fair to expect that people who are in the process of learning should automatically always get things right.
Now I’m not promoting self-defilement, unless of course that’s your thing. But if we consider ourselves students here in Life School, then…
Why do we expect ourselves to be perfect? Why do we think we should have all the answers? Why do we judge ourselves — and others — for not knowing what we haven’t yet learned, or for forgetting what we have?
“You’re so stupid,” we say. “You’re not enough,” we say. “You don’t know anything,” we say.
Life School — unlike the predictable progression of grade school to high school to college — isn’t a linear curriculum. Life School is a series of fits and starts, high-highs and low-lows. Sometimes we’re up. Sometimes we’re down. But always, always, we crave ACTION.
Doing is our gold star. We are told that accomplishing and acquiring will make us happy. We are told that not doing anything — just BEING — won’t get us the gold star and we really want the gold star.
The true student flows Knowing what she does not know Tracing uneven paths to nowhere
Never seeing Around the next corner Over the next horizon What tomorrow will bring But what is tomorrow when there is today And today’s gifts And this moment’s gifts And the sun And the music And the sky And the howling winds beating down her door
I quiet my mind to sense the internal flow. Is it time to move? Not yet, but soon. A few weeks ago it didn’t feel right to leave Deming. But now I feel that the time to move is coming. One more week. A few minor repairs to Pegasus and we’ll be off.